The personal side of my writing

This is going to be a really short post, and a bit personal, so if you don’t like that kind of thing I’d suggest not reading this. It’s short, unedited, more than likely all over the place and bad with explanations, but I’m having a lot of trouble today (especially with writing) and I really want to at least post something if I’m not going to get anything else done.

Writing is a very personal thing to me sometimes.

It’s more than “just a hobby” as people I know personally seem to claim it to merely be, it’s a passion – it’s something that’s very emotional for me, and looking back at old drafts, I can see the mentality I had when I wrote them. I can see my fears and hopes and dreams shining through them, no matter how they’re laced into the stories. Writing unlocks several different facets of me that I may not have even noticed until writing a certain story or rereading draft of one. Drawing and writing are things that I have always loved to do, and are also ways of expressing myself.

Sometimes, they’re even a means to keeping myself happy, although that’s tied into that writing and drawing are things that I really enjoy, and some of the only things that I have to enjoy as of now. Sure, there are other things, but most of the time, what I’m proud of tends to be my writing or my drawing. Without them,  I’d probably drive myself mad with my own boredom.

But that also means that having problems with my work can cause some pretty bad effects on me in general. A lack of motivation to work on editing and revising my script is currently making me feel lost and hopeless in the process, where even forcing myself to do it ends up getting no where and helping with nothing, and trying to take a break just stresses me out even more. Problems with this end up unlocking problems with other things, and everything just grows and gets worse.

I just don’t know how to motivate myself to finish this chapter of the project. I really want to, but at the same time, I just feel like I can’t.

I’m relapsing, and it’s a horrifying experience. I feel helpless in terms of some of the only things that make me happy, and finding inspiration and motivation is one of the hardest things for me to do.

I really need some help here – how do you find motivation to write? How about inspiration?

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