The Ten Bells

Just a very short story I wrote months ago, testing out different writing styles, about the Ripper, when I was doing my research on the case. It’s not very good, but I like it enough to post it up here, I guess. I’d like to show my progress to SOMEONE, anyways.

It was yet another normal night of autumn in London, 1888 at a lovely little pub we call The Ten Bells. Whitechapel was filled to the brim with gossip and terror surrounding the horrific murders that had been unsolved since the beginning. You were a very attractive man, clean-cut with fair hair and skin, dressed in a gentleman’s clothing and a top hat. Your eyes filled with good intentions, a smile so sweet it could perhaps sweep anyone, man or woman, off of their feet and into the heavens above us. You took a swig of your drink, swallowing it smooth and steady, as you very joyfully conversed with a woman, beautiful with thick hair as black as the heart of the Ripper himself. She winked an eye, giggling with quite the feminine appeal as she batted thick eyelashes towards you. You winked a clear, richly coloured eye at the harlot whom we knew as Black Mary in response to her pass, crossing your legs as she twirled her hair over a thin, lithe finger. I watched absent-mindedly as you bit your lip, whispering to her in a hushed, excited tone, grinning mischievously as you exited The Ten Bells arm-in-arm. I had heard not the ringing bells of a magnificent church’s cold funeral that night at The Ten Bells, as I should have heard in the depths of my mind, the chambers of my heart. I know not your true name, but I know your face, Jack, and I let you walk into the streets that night with a heart of black.

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2 thoughts on “The Ten Bells

  1. I like the style. You wrote this in 2nd person but you weren’t addressing the reader as one would have initially thought. The end tied it up nicely, it was unexpected if you didn’t pay attention to the header where you introduced the story. *smiles* I like it. In fact, I could see this as an excerpt from a Sherlock-Holmes styled novel…as though the narrator was sending little “love letters” to Jack. Actually, this concept just inspired a thought for my own story, so thank you.

    But again, well done on the style. This is one of the better excerpts I’ve read using 2nd person narrative. Keep up the good work.

    P.S. I can see you have a poet’s tongue. I noticed a few rhymes in here. ;)

    • Why, thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it – I was going for a different view in second person, although keeping it as close to ‘normal’ second person as I could manage with it. I’m very happy that this inspired you! If there’s anything that makes me feel wonderful, it’s definitely inspiring others, especially for their own works of any form of art, text or not. And again, thank you SO much – this comment has very well made my night and has inspired me to perhaps try some more works in this second-person style. Also, I’m glad someone noticed the little rhymes I threw in, I like to make my works have a bit of rhyme to make it have a little ‘catchy’ factor, especially if it’s fairly short like this. c;

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